Ashes is my first Pinter play, thus I have fairly constant doubts on whether I am properly respecting his work and giving the character of Rebecca the life she deserves on stage. Still two weeks into our run and I’m feeling pretty damn good about it overall. I speak her words and I truly feel that I am Rebecca – obsessed with her fascist Hitler-type lover yet coming to terms with the evil he perpetrated while giving long trance-like monologues. I am amazed at how the final scene affects me as I give her last lines. I feel like Lady MacBeth calling upon the gods to take away that which makes her woman so that she can do the evil that she needs to do – only in this case I’m calling down the acting gods to fill me with emotion and make me more than what I am. Two more weeks and the ride will be over. I have no projects lined up because I want to spend some time focusing on class in New York. The rest of my time will be filled with ‘my other work’ and spending time with my family. But my heart yearns for a time when I can go from project to project without worrying about that ‘other job’.